Dear survivor,

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That scar which is embroidered on your skin rejoices the Victory and hardship you face daily on the battle ground, fighting with those demons who call you the worshiper of unworthiness and pain. Those ‘walls’ you surround yourself in don’t make you any weaker, in fact those walls are absorbers of words of ill-treatment thrown at you which make you fight back with equal strength. They don’t know that you can build a strong castle with all the bricks that are thrown at you.

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My dear little survivor, this is not a self-help guide to love yourself, this is the narration of same survivor who fought through all this and understands your tears you welled up last night while writing down on the piece of  paper you call a ‘diary’. I want to save you, cherish you…. Embrace you and scream at you for questioning yourself. In my eyes, you are a star who shines brighter than any other spotlight. You think your scars make you weak? Those ‘cover girls’ make you look dull? Let me tell you something love, those imperfections make you gloom more than any sunflower who reveals itself towards the sun. This pain you are going through may take you down someday but before letting it overcome you just think, there is someone in this world who wants to see your smile or wants you to be someone else’s sign for hope. Hope… that ceases to be held on. I will stay by your side and hold onto that hope till the day realisation hits us with a sweet pain that YES you and I are worth it! Those demons didn’t get the right to take away your innocence. Those scars they inflicted on our backs that night will remain the scars of victory and an untold story of survival. Remember, no matter what they say, We are not a victim they decided to throw away like a rag doll, we are a SURVIVOR. If you and I decide to narrate our past horrors we can set this world on fire and you never know who might need the hand… a hand to pull him/her over from drowning away.

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Did you and I went through sexual assault? Yes!

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Did this caused pain? Yes!

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Do you consider yourself a victim? No! I absolutely do NOT. I own my scars. I am not ashamed of them. Those who caused them are the ones to be ashamed. They are the victims of aggression and frustration that led them to lose self-control. The society is victim of many crimes and judgment who didn’t take time to label us ‘impure’. I am beautiful, someone to love and to be loved.

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So my dear little survivor, if those hands come at night to haunt you turn yourself into a shield of light that will overshadow their (demon) darkness. Slaughter their intentions with your sword and roar like a lioness who is free from the clutches of fetters. You are beyond something who has survived so big and cruel, don’t ever underestimate yourself.

The night witnessed your screams,

Bowed down to your strengths,

No wonder prayed it to be a dream.

All the stars you hoped for,

Unfortunately, shone brightest in your darkest dream.

Repeat after me, you are strong, you survived this! The scar looks up my strength. I am proud of it. Proud of you. We share the same heartbeat… same choice… same justice. You’re the one who should be loved, my dear little survivor.

Your hope,

Jaanvi Harnal