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Writer's pictureVishwajeet Kumar

Dealing with Disappointment

Updated: Apr 6, 2023

Disappointment is feeling sad because something or someone was not as good as you had expected or hoped it to be.

Disappointment is feeling sad because something or someone was not as good as you had expected or hoped. When we feel unhappy because our hopes are crushed and our expectations are unfulfilled, we experience a feeling of disappointment. Disappointment is one such offshoot—a complex emotion that stems from sadness. We are all familiar with the feeling of being let down when we don't get what we feel we deserve.


Why Do We Experience Disappointment?

You may be imposing unrealistic expectations on others. Your expectations may not be reasonable and practical, even if you believe them to be. Changing your expectations to more realistic levels is one solution.


Some disappointing outcomes can be predicted and thus avoided. Others may be inevitable. It is critical to distinguish between the two to respond effectively. A pattern of unreasonable thinking can lead to repeated disappointment. If you're constantly disappointed, examine your thoughts and strive to break bad thinking habits.


Outcomes of Constant Disappointment

People who are constantly disappointed are more likely to experience physical or emotional problems, or both. Some physical symptoms like headaches, gastrointestinal problems, damp palms, and over-perspiration appear to be more common in these people than in those who score low on this measure. For some people, being deeply disappointed over an extended period of time can lead to chronic stress.


If You Are Disappointed…
  • You struggle to accept compliments.

  • You are your harshest critic.

  • You suffer from analysis paralysis.

  • You struggle to see the big picture.

  • You procrastinate.

  • You find reasons to avoid trying new things.

  • You’re unproductive and unmotivated.

  • Your personal and work relationships are suffering.

  • You no longer enjoy any of the activities you used to enjoy.

  • Your sleeping or eating patterns are disrupted.

  • Your physical and mental health is suffering.

  • You can't seem to concentrate on anything other than your disappointment.

  • You’re experiencing difficulty regulating your emotions.

  • Depression, anger, denial, fear and apathy can also be outcomes of severe disappointment.


How to Deal with Disappointment?

Disappointment is a natural reaction to dissatisfaction. We all experience disappointment in our relationships, in other people, and in ourselves at times. It's not easy to sit with this emotion, but there are healthy (and destructive) methods to deal with it.


It's easy to avoid dealing with disappointment altogether. Avoiding expectations in the first place is one technique. But that is not realistic—imagine having no ideas or views about how things should or might progress! Expectations benefit us in a variety of ways as well. So, how can we handle the inevitable disappointment that will inevitably occur? Here are some suggestions for dealing with disappointment in a healthy way:


Understanding and Validating the Disappointment

Acknowledge that you are disappointed. It's easy to dismiss, diminish, or divert yourself from negative emotions. However, over time, this can make these sentiments even worse. Instead, naming and admitting a sensation (even aloud!) might help you manage it healthily. Accepting that our emotions are present and recognising that they are normal entails validating them. Emotions always have a purpose.


Checking and Adjusting Expectations

Adjusting expectations is sometimes the best approach to dealing with disappointment. It's easy to be disappointed if an expectation is stiff or inflexible, or if it doesn't match reality.


If you believe you’ll learn something new on your first attempt, you are very likely to be disappointed. It's helpful to modify or realign your expectations in this situation to make them more realistic.


Focusing on the Bigger Picture

Remembering that disappointment is just a part of life is another method to deal with it. It is impossible to avoid it. It is a natural reaction to unmet expectations. As a result, you may be disappointed if you expect a life free of disappointment. Accepting unfavorable occurrences, regardless of how you feel about them, can make things simpler.


Give Yourself Time to Feel Bad

Recognise the disappointment, but don't get caught up in it. Give yourself an hour to feel miserable if you didn't win the lotto. Give yourself a day if you didn't get a promotion or your bonus was less than you expected, but then move on.


Don’t Ruminate

The more you dwell on your disappointment, the more it will hurt you. It will interfere with your ability to focus, concentrate, solve problems, or be creative. So be careful not to add to your disappointment and emotional pain.


Avoid Self-pity

Self-pity has a cost: it robs us of our sense of power. It makes us feel as if we have no control over our lives. So enjoy at your own risk; if you're stuck for too long, it might lead to a foul mood and even melancholy.


Practice Self-compassion

Be sensitive to yourself and compassionate toward your suffering. Don't berate or criticize yourself. Doing so will simply undermine your confidence, lower your self-esteem, and make you feel worse.


Identify the Next Opportunity

Of course, this is simpler with lottery tickets than with more serious life situations that cause disappointment. But, as they say in baseball, there's always next season. Spend a few moments, regardless of what disappointed you, planning out when and how you can try again.


Conclusion

Disappointment is a negative emotion that we feel when a result does not meet your expectations. It is an unavoidable part of life, characterized by feelings of sadness, loss, anger, and frustration. Disappointed people are more likely to have physical and mental health issues. You may deal with this issue by first figuring out why it exists and then focusing on solutions rather than problems.


References

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