In 2021, we have accomplished equality for men and women in nearly all aspects of life, but we still see a lack of equality on the basis of mental health.
Redefining Masculinity
Masculinity and mental health have had a long battle in history, but it's finally time to redefine masculinity. Boys from a very young age receive tons of messages from society, family, and friends that they must be strong. Dependence and showing vulnerability or reaching out for help are signs of weakness. These messages, when carried into adulthood, can become "toxic masculinity". Toxic masculinity can make it difficult to express emotions, which is common. Toxic masculinity is not just a men’s issue — its consequences are prevalent and affect everyone, including girls and women. Healthy masculinity is when men can:
Express a full range of emotion and feel validated.
Be vulnerable and seek help when necessary.
Treat people equally and respectfully.
Listen to and value women and girls.
Practice self care
Have fears and doubts.
The stigma around Men and Mental Health
This stigma around men's mental health is relentlessly perpetrated by the way our society talks about masculinity. Mental health of men and boys is often overlooked, and is still not talked about more often. Even within discussions of mental health and well being, there is not enough importance given to men and boys. Women are known as emotional beings, and tend to express feelings easily when compared to men. Men like women, experience anxiety, depression, and mental illness. However, men are more likely to avoid seeking help especially when it comes to mental health. It is critically essential to get rid of the stigma around mental illness, and remind men that asking for help, expressing emotions, and seeking therapy isn’t just beneficial, it’s necessary for the betterment of our society.
Difference in men and women seeking mental health
In recent years, our society has progressed a lot in terms of recognizing the importance of mental health and wellbeing, including men's mental health. But we still have a long way to go. Accepting mental illness is the first step, and consciously working towards it is the second. Men don't always display the symptoms of depression, such as sadness and hopelessness. Instead, they may appear agitated, violent or hostile, making it easier for doctors and loved ones to miss warning flags. As a result, men may be denied treatment that may help them feel better. Women are known to be emotional beings, and they express themselves easily when compared to men. Men still tend to follow the narrative of masculinity that was taught to them in their childhood. To change that, men need to open up more. For that, women need to become more accepting and encourage men to not bottle up their feelings. We need to normalize men getting therapy, and working on their mental health. Talking about emotions is very effective and liberating, and this will motivate other men to do the same.
Talking to men about their mental health
It's always good to approach a man who you think needs help, or is having a hard time because sometimes they are just waiting for someone to ask them about their feelings. To do so, you should try the following steps-
Step 1
Ask them to sit down for a chat, and whilst doing so, you should make it sound important to you. It does not have to be a big deal, it can just be a casual conversation to check in on him.
Step 2
Once you get such an opportunity, start by asking how things have been lately. Ask about his family, workplace, or any other interests, or hobbies that they have.
Step 3
Slowly ease into the topic, and ask him about how he's been feeling emotionally. You can mention that you think he's seemed stressed lately, and ask him if he wants to talk about it. Make him feel comfortable, and let him know he is not going to be judged by you.
Step 4
Eventually, he might start opening up about the issues. If he doesn't, you should emphasize that you're there for him if he wants to talk. Most importantly, he needs to know that you care about him, and want to know how he is doing. This lets him know that he has someone to go to when he's ready.
Step 5
If you think the issue can not be tackled by you, or needs some serious attention, gently propose the idea of getting professional help. Make him believe that the issue can be resolved through proper treatment, and guidance from a professional.
Takeaway message
Justin Baldoni said "See if you can use the same qualities that you feel make you a man to go deeper, your strength, your bravery, your toughness: Are you brave enough to be vulnerable? Are you strong enough to be sensitive? Are you confident enough to listen to the women in your life?"
Real men go to therapy, and work on themselves.
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