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Writer's pictureAnanya Anindita

Self Deprecation: The art of self-sabotaging

Self-deprecation is an act of undermining, or underestimating one’s abilities, usually through humor.


Introduction

Self-deprecation is an act of undermining, or underestimating one’s abilities, usually through humor. Why, how and what leads to these supposed harmless jokes? And what are its implications on one’s mental health? Let’s discuss.


Self-deprecation is commonly mistaken as a sign of modesty. It is so deeply ingrained within us in the name of humility that we don’t even realize when it turns into self-loathing. Something people say to not sound boastful or obnoxious. Using statements like “I am such an idiot.”, “Anyone could have done what I did”, or not accepting the fact when someone praises you is a sign of self-deprecation. Self-deprecation is us not giving ourselves the due credit.


Why does one self deprecate?
  • Usually one adopts this habit of downplaying their achievements, talents etc, to not appear conceited in front of people.

  • To not be thought of as an airhead or mistaken as an egoistic individual.

  • Also, used as a coping mechanism. As more than often people will usually retaliate these self-deprecating comments with praises for the individual. This gives the individual in question a sense of approval and acceptance.

  • Sometimes it’s used to hide their supposed flaws. Such people assume that if they point out their flaws before others it won't be pointed out by others and will be a humorous event rather than an embarrassing one.

However, constantly downplaying yourself can have an opposite reaction on other individuals. Instead of being funny and modest, they might find you insecure and pessimistic, they will find you awkward and uneasy to be around.


The positive side

However, it is not all bad, there are a few upsides to it.

  • The first is self-awareness. When you are able to humor yourself, it means that you are aware of your weaknesses, strengths and value.

  • It is associated with a high EQ (Emotional quotient).

  • A person may become more approachable, candid and trustworthy as they can identify and accept their vulnerabilities.

  • It makes you look more attractive, empathetic and real.


The negative side
  • As much as it is a sign of self-awareness, excessive use of it can lead to self-esteem issues and affect our mental health negatively as well.

  • Self-deprecation is often known to lead to issues such as depression, generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder and behavioral disorders.

  • This issue regarding self-esteem usually starts during childhood due to constant rejection from parents or dysfunctional parenting styles.

  • This fear of rejection, abandonment, desperate seeking of approval and acceptance leads to self-deprecation.

  • It makes one more pessimistic. It will lead to constant worries such as not being good enough for one’s partner.

  • This subconscious habit leads to one being unnecessarily hard on themselves.

  • The parameters we use to judge ourselves become way stricter and harsher as compared to what we would use for others.


Conclusion

Knowing your self worth will lead to a lot of success in life. As much as self-awareness and modesty are important, recognizing your worth, taking compliments and believing in yourself, being confident is equally important to lead a quality and balanced life.


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