“What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candour, and more unashamed conversation.” ― Glenn Close
The average human mind hosts around 6200 thoughts per day (1). These thoughts are created consciously and often remain subconsciously and unconsciously in the mind. The numbers can vary with the personality and age of the person. A person may process them by choosing to involve, pass or be unaware of these thoughts. However, certain conditions such as Depression and Anxiety make it difficult to process these thoughts & the various feelings they trigger. This of course can be an overwhelming problem as the volume of thoughts is huge which makes the process of experiencing them exasperating and tiring.
Speaking Out
“Language has three important uses-it expresses thought, conceals thought, and takes the place of thought.” – Anonymous
However, we all possess a choice to not drift off or get lost in them-this is something we forget. We can manage them & handle them much more constructively. One way is to Share these thoughts we think or feel-honestly. This art of identifying our emotions is called “Self-Awareness” (2). When we vocalize our thoughts and what we are feeling accurately, we acknowledge the thought or feeling present. This has an almost magical effect when suddenly we find ourself liberated from the effect of the entity-it’s like pressing an emotional brake lever.
Where does it become a Problem?
Thoughts and feelings, no matter how insignificant they look, have a detrimental role in the wellbeing of a person. These are both important and unimportant. The secret is to deal with them without Glorifying their presence or denying the same. Seeing them as they are is the key. When we share our thoughts with someone we often find how irrationally or non-sensical we were thinking. This is not always our fault. Our brains are surprisingly flawed which often affect our perceptions and create a distorted view of us and the world around us. This is also quite natural as we experience every sort of thought & feeling when we are thinking privately. What’s not natural is what is happening to the contemporary human society. The scope for sharing in modern day society has degraded to a great extent. Unlike our previous generation who had very little in terms of technology and as a result lived more in synchronization and harmony with nature and each other, we find ourselves so much more connected yet disconnected at an existential level. Seldom do we have meaningful conversations and sharing of ideas. The per capita number of contacts has increased but the number of connections has fallen drastically. Loneliness and seclusion are the new pandemic. This is not only affecting the youth who fall awfully short of any meaningful guidance in their nurturing years but also our old generation that find it difficult to connect with their high-strung successors. We are running at a nerve-wrecking speed-both in our heads and our lives. Therefore, the value of a gentle conversation is quite high.
How Sharing Helps
“The experience I have had is that once you start talking about [experiencing a mental health struggle], you realize that actually your part of quite a big club.”
— Prince Harry
We are social creatures. Regular genuine conversations can positively affect our mental health. Also, sharing what is bothering us has a huge impact on our overall wellbeing.
Reassures
Having someone to simply listen to our happiness and sorrows has a soothing effect on our psychology. When we feel “Heard”, we feel connected. Many a times it’s the only help we need. Talk Therapy (3) has a therapeutic effect on many patients. People suffering from Depression to Anxiety can find themselves surprised at the power of speaking out.
New Perspective
When we are looking at a problem, we see it only through our perspective. Also, if we are looking at it from a disempowering angle, it gets magnified in our minds. Sharing it with appropriate company can provide multiple perspectives that can dismantle the problem and one might even realize that there wasn’t any problem in the first place. What was required was a fresh perspective.
Preventive Measure
Not only talking to a professional like a Psychologist aids in solving the underlying problem but also helps prevent falling into the vicious cycle of unnecessary medications. Labelling our thoughts and feelings (4) can help us accurately determine what we are “actually” feeling.
Allows Acceptance
Often, there is not really a problem in life, it looks like a problem because we think of it to be a problem. It may be an opportunity or a challenge to grow better. When we acknowledge what we are feeling-we open up the path of smooth flow of our energy rather than resisting it.
Forms Strong Connections
When we allow people to involve with our story, take their help and ask for opinions, we form mutual-connections of care and understanding. These go a long way in our lives.
Takeaway Message
It is the first step of opening up that is the most courageous yet the most significant and empowers to change one’s perspective. The journey is worthwhile. What’s needed is encouragement and a safe environment for the person to open up. This is a collective responsibility of the society and individuals. Truth be told, there is no wound that can’t be healed provided it is first acknowledged and spoken about.
“You look at me and cry; everything hurts. I hold you and whisper: but everything can heal.” ― Rupi Kaur
Reference
Nature Communications/ The study published in the journal Nature Communications was carried out by psychologists at Queen's University in Kingston, Canada/2020
Tchiki Davis, Ph.D./What Is Self-Awareness, and How Do You Get It? /Self-awareness involves monitoring our stress, thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. /04-2019
"Talk Therapy: Definition & Examples." Study.com/ Talk therapy, more formally called 'psychotherapy,' refers to a range of treatments that involve discussing mental or emotional issues with a mental health practitioner, such as a psychiatrist or psychologist/23 February 2013, study.com/academy/lesson/talk-therapy-definition-examples-quiz.html
Ray Williams/August 5, 2020/D. Lieberman, UCLA associate professor of psychology, refers to this as “affect labelling” and his fMRI brain scan research shows that this labelling of emotion appears to decrease activity in the brain’s emotional centres, including the amygdala. This dampening of the emotional brain allows its frontal lobe (reasoning and thinking centre) to have greater sway over solving the problem du jour/ https://raywilliams.ca/how-labeling-your-emotions-can-help-you-manage-stress-and-anxiety/ https://raywilliams.ca/how-labeling-your-emotions-can-help-you-manage-stress-and-anxiety/
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