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Writer's pictureKanak Bahara

Trust Issues and Vulnerability

“Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.” - Anonymous


Trust issues and vulnerability are the feelings that develop when a person who you deeply trust, breaks your trust by doing one or the other bad thing. These feelings develop social anxiety in a person and the one concerned is not able to share one’s feelings with the other people having full trust in them that they will not leak the information.


Major type of trust issue

Loss of trust in a relationship

It is the most common type of trust issue. A person loses trust in the relationship because of the irresponsibility of the other person in a relationship, be it in doing some task or seen cheating with some other person. The person then faces difficulties in trusting the other person if they are in a different relationship in later life.


Cause of trust issue
  • They are caused due to misdeeds from their childhood.

  • Interactions with bad people in their childhood stage remain in their minds for a long time.

  • Some people do not get the love, affection, care that they deserve but do not receive it. Thus resulting in the person thinking that he/she is not enough and good in any form.


Signs of trust issues
  • A person focuses on the negative in the other person because of the developed trust issues in him.

  • They are always suspicious of the other person and do not easily believe what they say even if it is for their good.

  • A person constantly holds grudges even if the person is showing on the outside that he/she is not affected but deep inside they do not forgive easily.

  • A person checks the phone of the other person and also keeps an eye on them because he/she does not have complete faith in the other person and is constantly thinking that they might hurt the concerned person.

  • They always have a constant feeling of abandonment that the other person will betray and hurt them and eventually leave them, blaming the fault on the innocent.

  • The person believes to do everything on his own even if the task requires more people because the person thinks that if he involves people then he will have to share important information that has the chance to be revealed. This thought is developed because the person has faced trust issues and is not ready to be in that situation once again.


Effects of trust issues
  • It adversely affects the person's mental health and may cause some serious brain disease.

  • The concerned person does all the work himself ignoring his health and body requirements and indulging in more work than needed.

  • People begin to lose trust in their friendship and eventually decide to not make friends in later life because of the consequences faced by them.

  • Having trust issues also adversely affects the romantic relationship of the person.

  • The person finds it difficult to share his true feelings with someone without the fear of getting judged or the leaking of the conversation to some other person.


Ways to overcome trust issues
  • Take safe emotional risks- Try trusting people slowly and have small talk and see if they are trustworthy or not, give them the benefit of doubt. It may result in something good for you.

  • Communicate with your partner- If there is some problem, try talking it out and not jumping to conclusions.

  • Avoid spying or making the other person uncomfortable- It can easily become a habit thus amplifying your trust issue rather than solving it maturely.

  • Be optimistic-Even if you have faced trust issues try to move on and have an optimistic view on life. Start with having good feelings for the other person rather than constantly thinking all over again because of your trust issue.

  • Accept yourself and allow some time- If you have faced trust issues, allow yourself some time to heal rather than jumping to the other person in hope of care, affection but do not trust him because of not being healed from your previous trauma.


Therapy also helps a lot in overcoming trust issues. If you break someone's trust and make them feel insecure, think of the consequences faced by the innocent. Thus, try not to break other people's trust as they may never be able to reciprocate the feelings of love and care with some other person.


“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” – Ernest Hemingway

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